Q&A with Josh Burgos


Sanjay Fernando

Josh takes time out of his day to lawfully answer these burning questions your average civilian has.

A lot of questions go unanswered daily. People might just be scared to ask them or feel that they’re too simple and write them off as irrelevant. Whatever the matter be, I’m here to answer your questions (because I have all the answers obviously).

Q: Why did you dye your hair?

A: It was entirely impulse, not a single thought went into it. I was literally just bored. Honestly recommend that everyone gets their hair dyed or go bald. You can never be the cool parent who went bald or had their hair dyed if you never do it.

Q: How do I achieve a Josh aesthetic? How do I become more Josh-esque?

A: Shave your head. That is literally the only way.

Q: When you meet someone do you assume they’re a good person on first impression ⁉️ (Marcos)

A: Absolutely not, Marcos. I am afraid of everyone.

Q: What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society who abandons him and treats him like trash? – Tabari 🤡

A: You get what you deserve.

Q: What do you do to try to meet new people?

A: I don’t meet new people. It’s scary.

Q: Do you think you could survive an attack from 100 bloodthirsty kindergartners?

A: I’m washing those kindergartners, to be honest. Knocking all of them out with one punch each. I’m also going to come out completely unscathed. Considering how tall and insanely strong I am, I’ll easily win that.

Q: Have you ever considered shaving your head?  

A: Yes. I have also considered shaving other people’s heads.

Q: I’m happy by myself but I’m sad that I don’t have anyone. Are these things two separate things or are they dependent? What ya think?

A: Cope.

Q: How do I stop smelling like Gouda cheese?


Q: How to spot fake friends? (Bryce Mattson)

A: I don’t know. I mean if I were a fake friend I probably wouldn’t be a fake friend because fake friends are fake and that’s fake. Friends are fake, fake is fake, everything is fake and made up especially fake friends. To avoid making fake friends just don’t have friends.

Q: Me and my crush only text if I text him first, and my pride has stopped me so many times, idk if he likes me or not but we make intense eye contact everyday 🤨 what should I do cause I’m going crazy…

A: You should start stalking him. Follow him really closely. Find out his last name, beg his counselor for his transcript and get to know everything about him. Figure out where he lives and cyberstalk his entire family. It’ll be really easy to talk to him from there!

Q: Fav part of last summer?

A: Your mom.

Q: How to get taller?

A: I would definitely not ask Editor-in-Chief Ryleigh Waters, she’s like 5 feet tall. Me, as a 6-foot tall beast, would advise you to just eat right. Maybe go to sleep some more. Doesn’t work for all of us.

Q: Josh please I need you to tell me how to get famous on TikTok. I have a family to feed and need answers nowbbn!!!! Give me advice – Naveen Smith

A: TikTok is not real. Wake up. You are in a dream, you need to save the world. Naveen please wake up it’s been six years.

Q:I didn’t get into any college I applied to 😟 what do I do?

A: Go to bed and start praying.

If you’re sad you didn’t see your question, check back later and I’ll answer more. Don’t worry I won’t be gone for long. 😀


Editor’s note: Answers are for entertainment value only. The Current assumes no responsibility if you follow any of Josh’s advice about anything. Ever.

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