Back in the day, Christmas meant songs like “Frosty the Snowman,” “Jingle Bells” and “Deck the Halls”

But look at the songs now! All these Christmas albums that artists keep releasing. It’s kind of a shame since most of the songs all sound the same.

Let’s get the classics back like, “All I Want for Christmas are My Two Front Teeth.” Who doesn’t want their buck teeth back? Without them, no one can chew their celery sticks, and veggies are good for you.

One time someone’s grandmother was hit by one of Santa’s reindeer. This was due to the fact that Rudolph wanted a piece of grandma’s fruitcake (no, not like that). They even made a song about this.  It’s called “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” (shocker). So I guess, the lesson we can learn from this song is: never make fruit cake (because fruit cake sucks)…unless you want to get hit by a reindeer, then by all means, go ahead.

Then there’s the classic anthem about wanting a significant other for the holidays. Who could forget Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”? Well, you know what happens when you wish for that special someone on Christmas? Your heart gets broken and next year you’re be sad, lonely, and singing a whole different tune. Sound familiar?  It should.  The song is called “Last Christmas.”

They say Christmas is about spending time with friends and family and enjoying this magical holiday together as one. Now, who thought that infidelity was a good thing to add into this mix? You saw your mother kissing Santa Claus? Best run upstairs and tell your father! Why are you singing about it?

I don’t care if there was a mistletoe there, cheating is cheating and no one should be singing in this situation. How do you think Mrs. Claus would feel if she hears about this? (Okay, I know the dad turned out to be Santa in the end and there wasn’t any real cheating going on, but whatever…cheating is still no laughing matter).

I guess no matter how strange these “holiday” songs become, we’ll always remember the classics. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but they definitely are memorable. I, for one, think that we should stop coming up with new songs because we’ve pretty much covered the entire gamut when it comes to Christmas music.

From love, to heartbreak, to grandmas getting hit by flying mammals, to seeing a potentially traumatizing event that may, or may not ruin your childhood, current Christmas music has it covered.