For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had the magical gift of interpreting dreams. From falling from 10,000ft to running from a man in all black who appears to be chasing you. I’ve got the answer for you!

It all began when I heard my dad talk about his dream where he was fishing in a puddle of milk. At that moment, I spontaneously jumped on the kitchen counter and said, “Tomorrow you’re gonna fall down the stairs!” 

To no surprise, the next day, he came home from work with crutches and a neck brace.

I’ve decided to bless you all with my abilities! I asked a couple of friends to recount their dreams so that I could interpret their meanings, and here they are. 

Michael’s Dream:

Michael was at Vivi’s Bubble Tea shop, enjoying some bubble tea, when suddenly he realized he was on a date with a hot girl! As soon as his eyes reach her, he instantly wakes up.

Now this one seems straightforward, it’s pretty clear that Michael is scared of hot women right? WRONG! If that were the case he’d be scared of me which he definitely isn’t. This dream means something much more prolific. 

This all means that Michael needs to consider wearing sunglasses when outdoors. Just think about it and stick with me here, the hot woman is a metaphor for the sun, and when he looks at the woman he wakes up. It all fits! 

Obehi’s Dream:

Obehi was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, chasing some mysterious figure! She was a ninja at a hard day’s work doing backflips and whatnot. 

This one is a promising omen! It clearly means that Obehi is destined to become a horse surgeon. This one may be hard to understand from the non-magical ones but think about it. Obhei was jumping in her dream; you know what else jumps…

HORSES! 

(Editor’s note: I will NOT be becoming a horse surgeon, I simply do not see it in my future but thanks anyway!)

Mrs Confinos Dream:

This one’s a recurring nightmare! She’s in a deserted familiar labyrinth all alone when suddenly she hears this awful squealing. She begins to panic and run as the intensity of the squeal increases, leading her to wake up in a cold sweat!

This one needs no interpreting as it turns out the reason the labyrinth felt so familiar was that it’s the same room from a spooky movie Mrs. Confiono watched when she was a kid. 

Oscar’s Dream:

It was your avid school morning. Oscar got up ate breakfast and went to the bus stop. It was only when he found his seat that he realized he had forgotten his socks. Come to think of it, he also forgot his shoes and pants!  Come to think of it, he completely forgot to get dressed! 

This one’s a fairly common dream, the dreaded being naked at school. This means that you need to switch to switch laundry detergents as the one you’re using is un-aligning your spiritual pathways. Personally, I recommend switching to Tide Liquid Laundry Detergent, Original – 146 fl oz, for just 19.94$ at your nearest retail store. Once again, Tide Liquid Laundry Detergent, Original – 146 fl oz for just 19.94$ at your nearest retail store. It’s the best one out there.