How to always beat the lunch line


Ashley Huynh

Here are some tips to beat the long, long, long lunch line.

Run! Run! Run! As fast as you can.

Your survival depends on it because you have competition. Do you think you are the only one trying to beat the lunch line? Well, think again.

If you want to beat your competitors this is what you have to do.

Ten minutes before the lunch bell rings, yes I said ten, not five, ten! And I don’t want to hear any complaining, do you want to beat the lunch line or not, Yes? Ok then listen up. Ask to use the bathroom exactly ten minutes before the bell.

Next, you want to make your way downstairs to the bathroom nearest to the counseling office and wait there until one minute before the bell. At that time you should be hovering between being inside and outside the bathroom.

The millisecond you hear the bell you run as fast to the lunch line as you can, and don’t worry if you encounter any competitors that should be expected just push them out of your way, you can apologize later.

But even after all of this if you manage to find yourself at the back of a long line don’t worry, there is still hope, you have one last option. CUT THE LINE.

The front of the line should primarily be comprised of overzealous freshmen so you shouldn’t find much trouble when you mercilessly cut in front of them and steal their spots.

(Editor’s Note: This article is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not cut in front of the freshmen, no matter how overzealous they are. And The Current takes no responsibility for any consequences you may incur if you follow any of the advice in this article.)

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