Have you ever been on your way to class knowing you were about to be scolded by your teacher because you were late? Well then call me Superman because I am here to save you!

Number One: How about you just DON’T COME LATE TO CLASS! I know what you’re thinking, “I thought this list was meant to help me,” and you’re right, it is, but as a wise man once said, “Prevention is better than cure.” Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the real list.

“REAL” Number One: Go to the health room and tell them that on your way to class you got infected with a never-before heard of, contagious, and incurable terminal illness. After some time, tell them that you’re feeling better, and then ask for them to sign you a pass to go back to class.

(P.S. this method can be a bit time-consuming, and in some cases, you could be kidnapped, quarantined, and sent to a secret research facility to be experimented on).

Number Two: Come in with an apple. It’s a proven fact that all teachers love apples, and when I say “all” I mean every single one, (yes, even the ones that look like they haven’t touched a fruit in years.) When you walk in with that red, round, and ripe fruit witness as your teacher’s frown 🙁 turns upside down 🙂

(And yes the apple MUST be red or else it won’t work. Don’t ask me why, I don’t make the rules).

And finally…

Number Three: Steal a DeLorean from Marty McFly and Doc Brown and go back in time. While you’re at it do me a favor and tell my sixth-grade self that wearing knee-high socks with shorts to school wasn’t cool. And don’t worry about altering the future or disrupting the space-time continuum, that stuff isn’t important anyway. All that matters is that you get to class on time.

But remember if any one of these gets you in trouble with a nurse, teacher, or god of time, I take no responsibility, so use these at your own risk.

Editor’s Note: The Current does not promote tardiness to class.  Please also do not lie about having a terminal illness.  That’s not cool either.  And neither is showing up late.