Top three tips for when you’re late to class

Peric Yerima, Opinion Managing Editor|September 23, 2022

Ashley Huynh

Peric shares his top tips for when you’re running late to class.

Have you ever been on your way to class knowing you were about to be scolded by your teacher because you were late? Well then call me Superman because I am here to save you!

Number One: How about you just DON’T COME LATE TO CLASS! I know what you’re thinking, “I thought this list was meant to help me,” and you’re right, it is, but as a wise man once said, “Prevention is better than cure.” Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the real list.

“REAL” Number One: Go to the health room and tell them that on your way to class you got infected with a never-before heard of, contagious, and incurable terminal illness. After some time, tell them that you’re feeling better, and then ask for them to sign you a pass to go back to class.

(P.S. this method can be a bit time-consuming, and in some cases, you could be kidnapped, quarantined, and sent to a secret research facility to be experimented on).

Number Two: Come in with an apple. It’s a proven fact that all teachers love apples, and when I say “all” I mean every single one, (yes, even the ones that look like they haven’t touched a fruit in years.) When you walk in with that red, round, and ripe fruit witness as your teacher’s frown 🙁 turns upside down 🙂

(And yes the apple MUST be red or else it won’t work. Don’t ask me why, I don’t make the rules).

And finally…

Number Three: Steal a DeLorean from Marty McFly and Doc Brown and go back in time. While you’re at it do me a favor and tell my sixth-grade self that wearing knee-high socks with shorts to school wasn’t cool. And don’t worry about altering the future or disrupting the space-time continuum, that stuff isn’t important anyway. All that matters is that you get to class on time.

But remember if any one of these gets you in trouble with a nurse, teacher, or god of time, I take no responsibility, so use these at your own risk.

Editor’s Note: The Current does not promote tardiness to class.  Please also do not lie about having a terminal illness.  That’s not cool either.  And neither is showing up late.