Walking Dead zombie apocalypse survival guide

Charisse Warfield

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Rick Grimes has done a great job in keeping (some) people alive in the “apocalypse.” He is strong, determined, respected, kind, and also very, very, very stupid.

We all think we know how to survive in an apocalypse and Rick does too. He tries (could do better) his best to be a leader/savior or whatever “Tumblr,” poetic crap you wanna call it. He makes dumb mistakes that causes deaths *cough* Glenn *cough* and injuries *cough* Carl’s eye *cough* that could’ve been avoided.

So, I made a list of four simple steps to keep you very much alive during the apocalypse. So grab your buns, take a seat, and prepare yourselves for “The idiot proof (maybe) survival guide for surviving the zombie apocalypse.”

  1. Ditch the weak. I’m talking brothers, sisters, grandparents, pets, they all gotta go man. They’re just gonna hold you back and get you killed. My only advice is get in your car and toss the baby out the window* cause they are not making it anyway. Save yourself, my friend.  (*Note: Tossing a baby out of a window is not recommended if you are NOT currently in the apocalypse)
  2. Don’t fall in love. Don’t do it. Why? Because they are going to die, or get you killed. Now remember good ol’ Jesse Anderson from Alexandria? Of course you don’t, she’s irrelevant. Her entire family got killed and Carl’s eye went bye-bye because Rick pretended to be in love. Please do not even get me started on Lori and Shane.
  3. Don’t forgive. Once someone plays you, toss them to the herd. Glenn was too nice his friends. He trusted Nicholas after he snaked two people and got them killed, then almost killed Glenn too. Glenn survived though (not for long), but this is a prime example of why nice guys finish last, or don’t finish at all. R.I.P.
  4. Referring back to step one. DITCH PEOPLE. This is like the most important step, which is why it’s repeated. Have you ever looked at Father Gabriel and wondered why the hell that man is alive? It’s because he followed this list and left the weak women and children to die, while he chilled it out inside the church. Smart man.

And that’s it! You officially know how to survive longer than THE Rick Grimes.

If you do die after following this list, then that is completely your fault.

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