Why we should absolutely obliterate Facebook

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Huswat Olajide

Senior Abijah Hines share his reasons on why we should keep Facebook away.

Facebook was created almost 20 years ago and is still going strong. That’s a problem. Now let me explain why.

First things first, Facebook is killing the social media industry: All the older generation are on Facebook when they could choose any other social media platform like Instagram because personally, I’m tired of the comment section looking like the Sahara desert. Dry! I can’t even go under some posts without bots being everywhere. Where is the human interaction?

Side note: I personally do not recommend getting your old folks on Snapchat because kids are wildin’ up there, and I can’t have my family see that.

Second, if we get the older people off Facebook, we can monitor what they are doing. Hear me out. When Facebook stops working, who do you think they’ll come to to set up profiles on a different platform? Us. Most of them don’t even know how to work a phone, let alone social media. So when you make their new account for them, save that username and password. We can’t have them acting fast out here talking to people they got no business talking to.

Third, Facebook brainwashes all the older people who use it. Now don’t get me wrong; some of the news up there is real, but the majority of it is fake. Like apparently, they were saying garlic cures the coronavirus. I personally never had the virus, but I don’t think that’s how it works. Another one is the Area 51 raid from a few years ago. People were actually showing up to Area 51 looking for aliens or things that don’t exist! 

Fourth, I’m tired of my family becoming Facebook scientists. They read something on Facebook, and suddenly they become experts on the matter because some sixty-five-year-old man started a live stream explaining why garlic cures coronavirus. Like, what’s wrong with people nowadays? 

Finally, we can stop those horrible family photos from getting posted. I know you’ve seen the pictures your mom or dad thinks are cute and posted on Facebook. (Editor’s note: The baby pictures on Facebook are sadly THE pictures they always choose.) But in reality, you’re looking like a wet raccoon. But by following the steps in my second reason, you can completely stop these horrendous pictures from being posted. 

In the end, we can see the era of Facebook is coming to a close, so why not expedite the process? Join me as we celebrate its demise… until the boomers ruin TikTok for us too.