Jennifer Explains it All–Holiday Edition

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Do you need Jen’s advice? Email your questions (include your name and grade, although real names will not be published) to [email protected].

Jennifer Vargas, Advice columnist

Dear Jen,

I want to get good presents for my friends but I don’t have any money, any other ideas?

-My Wallet’s Broke

Dear My Wallet’s Broke,

You can always be creative and make a homemade gift. You can also make your friends some of their favorite treats instead. True friends will understand you’re “low on the dough.”

 

Dear Jen,

My great aunt Edna gives me an ugly Christmas sweater every year. How do I tell her I don’t want a sweater with her cat on it?

-Not a Cat Person

Dear Not a Cat Person,

Be mindful that she is old and does not understand that you’re not five anymore. Maybe try to give her hints here and there about other gifts to consider. If the results are still the same, you can always try again next year.

 

Dear Jen,

My Secret Santa is my worst enemy, what do I do?

-Christmas Gone Wrong

Dear Christmas Gone Wrong,

Try to switch with someone else so you don’t have to deal with picking a gift for your worst enemy, or you can “treat” them with a little something. Remember to always keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Everyone deserves something on Christmas, even Satan’s spawn.

 

Dear Jen,

My mom bakes cookies for my teachers, but she’s a terrible cook and my teachers wind up hating me. What can I do?

-Santa Needs New Cookies

Dear Santa Needs New Cookies,

Well, you don’t want to break your poor mom’s heart by speaking on her baking skills, so if you somewhat know how to bake it’d be a huge help to you, your teachers and especially your mom to help her out in the kitchen before she burns your house down. You can always give her “new” recipes to try or just get store-bought cookies behind her back. Choose wisely.

 

Dear Jen,

My sister doesn’t believe in Santa, how do I bring the magic back?

-Santa’s Helper

Dear Santa’s Helper,

Depending how old your sister is, you can always try telling magic-filled stories about how Santa Claus gets all the presents around the world overnight before sunrise on Christmas Day. I don’t know about you but I can’t recall anyone else who can do that. If not, talk about how Santa fought off the Grinch to get the presents back on Christmas Eve once upon a time.

 

Dear Jen,

I’m always stuck wrapping gifts every year.  What do I do?

-Wrap it Up

Dear Wrap it Up,

You can always switch off the wrapping duties with someone else every year. There’s also the mall or you can pay off your siblings to do it for you. The last option usually works for me, but it’s whatever works with you.

 

Dear Jen,

These two kids in my class, let’s call them Karen and Viday, are always cuddling. How do I get them to stop canoodling in school?

-Couples’ Class

Dear Couples’ Class,

I am well too common with the typical couples in school showing too much affection in the halls. It’s gross believe me. To get them to stop, you always can get a spray bottle for dogs, but ya know it has its perks for couples too (human that is). If it can work for one species, it can definitely work for another!  Next time you see them getting too close for comfort, spray them and say, “NO! BAD!”  They should get the hint.

 

Do you need Jen’s advice?  Email your questions (include your name and grade, although real names will not be published) to [email protected].

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