EARFQUAKE

Michael Aragon and Tejan Bah • January 25, 2024

Don’t be scared, Earfquake by Tyler the Creator has got your back!

Hello, if you felt a little shake over winter break, you’re not crazy! During the break, Maryland experienced the utmost harmful events!

Every last one of us would be hurt to experience this. Tales only told under the blackest of nights by a campfire…

An EARFQUAKE!!

This terrified me to the core; the earth shook below me, and I quaked in fear. The nightmare that came to life, the rumbling of a lifetime. The Quake that makes even the strongest of people shake in fear.

The earfquake that came was one of the hardest things I’ve been through!

It was more shocking than when Tylerthecreator shook the earth with the 5x platinum song.

Sometime before 1 a.m., a 2.3 magnitude earthquake rumbled the streets of Rockville Fredrick, Northwest D.C., and Gaithersburg! Rockville took the hardest hit (pray for him).

I hope these people affected will be able to heal from the loss that has been dealt to them, the earfquake may end, however, the trama lingers.

I hope listening to the 5x platinum song, earfquake, won’t cause pain to the good people of Maryland.

Earthquakes are very unusual in Maryland, but luckily no damage has been reported. The U.S. Geological Survey has confirmed the earthquake. All mental trauma was excluded from the report.

I, for one, have experienced this pain firsthand! The earfquake hurt every last one of our souls.

Though the 5x platinum winning song may cause you to feel lost in life now, don’t worry! Just Call Me If You Get Lost.

I say we get our revenge! The earth has gone too long unchecked. You don’t see me taking down cities when I get upset!

I formally call upon you, my fellow readers. It’s time we take a stand against this big, dumb, inconsiderate rock!

Peacefully protesting isn’t an option, therefore we have to teach Earth a lesson.

Anytime you encounter anything earth-related, I want you to give it a quick, civilized smack! No more than four fingers should do the trick.

Then quickly turn your back on the tree, bush, rock, or whatever you just assaulted with your chin held high and your back held up so as to surely shame Earth.

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About the Contributors

Michael Aragon, Staff Writer

Good morning or afternoon, whenever you're reading this honestly. My name is Michael, if you ever want to talk about music go ahead and hit me up. Don’t really have one type of music I listen to, if something sounds nice just gotta listen. Overall though, I listen to niche genres. Other than that though. I play video games and all that, mostly sweaty games but now I’ve been falling off with that. One of the best tuba players in marching band, as well as being the best triple counter bass singers in choir. My skill set in these might be a little off at best but if your the only one that means that your best and worse at everything. Everthing's a matter a perceptive if you really think about it. I hope this perceptive allows to see my how great I am.

Tejan Bah, Opinion Editor

HELLO! My name is Tejan Bah and I'm somewhere near the greatest men to roam the earth. When I'm not wasting my life scrolling through nothingness I can be found in my bedroom playing guitar. I'm into Rock n’roll, specifically the n’roll these days. I have such a deep admiration for the genre, especially the R&B and blues influence, Figures like Chuck Berry, Little Richard, and Buddy Holly inspire me to keep playing.

Adwoa Obeng, Associate Editor

Adwoa is an IB Diploma senior at Watkins Mill High School and the Associate Editor of The Current. Adwoa is the vice president of Key Club and is an active participant in various clubs like Programming Club, STEM Club, and Student Government Association. She is the co-captain of Varsity Tennis. Adwoa loves matcha, pickles, spending time with friends, and watching TV. She plans to be a lawyer and major in Information Systems.