YOU! Yes, you right there. You need to do the following:

Sell your house, sell all your possessions, and abandon your family. You must dispose of all your material possessions and become one with nature.

Why do this, you may ask? Well, it’s simple to reach a state of pure Zen, you must give up what you believe you need. What you truly NEED is to hug trees, and that’s precisely why you’re going to live in the woods!

Choosing what specific forest you want to live in for the rest of your life proves to be challenging for most people. I, however, recommend the one right behind the high school.

Not only does that mean you get to school on time every morning, but it also comes with a stream! Yes, you heard me fresh free unlimited drinking water!

You may get dysentery, hepatitis A, typhoid, or even polio, but look at it this way…

FREE UNLIMITED WATER!!

“BuT I CaN GeT FrEE WaTer At HoMe” Yeah, but are you in tune with nature?

Exactly! Though you may reap the rewards of free unlimited water, you don’t truly ascertain its spiritual value due to your lack of being one with nature.

Your next step is to find shelter. If it were summer, it would be as simple as finding a nice patch of grass to rest in, but it’s freezing this time of year!

What you’re looking for is a lake. To find a lake, simply follow a steam in the opposite direction the water is flowing.

Once you find the lake, get in, and close your eyes. It may be a little cold at first, but lakes make the perfect place to take a nap! Once the cold subsides, you float in a little pocket of warmth.

Remember, cold is just a mindset! When you have achieved a state of zen, temperature becomes irrelevant.

Your last step now becomes finding food, and this one is pretty simple;

Eat EVERYTHING!

Dirt, grass, worms, bark, these are all on the table. It may be challenging at first, but you’ll get used to it.

If you’re not convinced by now to move into the woods, you’re truly lost.