If you could travel anywhere safely, where would you go? Most people would say relaxing places like Hawaii or Cancun, but in my opinion, those are lame options. Allow me to enlighten you on where I’d go.
Hands down, the first place I’m going is Antarctica! Now I know the view is just to die for, but that’s not why I’m going. I want to be the first man to subjugate an army of polar bears. Since I can go anywhere and return safely, I have to at least try, and if I don’t, who will?
The next place I’m going is Atlantis. If I can manage to find it among the deep depths of the ocean, I’ll be the first to actually discover mermaids, unlike those phony sailors from back in the day. Think of all the cool things I’d see, like fish, fish, and even more fish.
Anyway, after that, THE most important stop is outer space. You know we can’t trust the government. I gotta test out the moon landing not just for the public but for myself too. If you don’t agree, go to the Bahamas or something. I have a WHOLE PLANET to walk around, literally an extreme trampoline park.
After I’m done bouncing on the moon, I’m headed to heaven. I wanna see the golden gates with my own eyes. Also, the stairs, are they really from heaven to earth? Once I’m finished walking those, I’ll head inside. At this point, God will probably realize that I’m not supposed to be there, and I’ll be kicked out for breaking and entering.
By now, I’ll be super tired and ready to sleep. So I’ll just head to the core of the sun for a nice and warm nap. People sunbathe all the time, but that’s from millions of miles away. Why settle for such an unauthentic experience when you can get the real deal and truly experience a sun tan?
All in all, if you’re gonna travel, travel somewhere fun. Don’t waste your time and money going to places everyone knows about when you can travel the world and visit the most exotic places. The moral of the story is if you’re gonna do something, do it right because ALL of you have been vacationing wrong.
