The Current has a major problem. Just one. Chaim Abijah BJ Hines. We need to talk about him and his never-ending list of nonsensity. Starting with:

• Music genre and Singing out loud
  • Think with me, imagine you’re sitting in a class, the whole room is completely silent, and then you hear “Stand over and shoot,” coming from someone’s headphones. Ruined silence, the whole class turns to hear where the profanities are coming from. We turn to stare at Abijah. He says we’re only judging because we don’t know the context but there is NO need to know the context. We’ve heard enough. Then he refuses to turn the music down. As his friends or acquaintances, we try to educate him on normal things to do and whatnot but he just doesn’t listen. Sometimes I feel bad for his eardrums but then I also don’t because we tell him to turn it down but he always finds an excuse to ignore our warnings for him, so he’s on his own. When he’s 30 he’ll start with the “huh? I can’t hear you.”
• Questionable comments 
  • Now there are multiple instances where he said something and our mouths would just drop because like oh! It’s just not ethical you know? The words that come out of his mouth just shouldn’t be said at all.
• The greatest CEO
  • “CEO – Chief Executive Officer, the person responsible for managing a company, sometimes also the company’s president or chairman,” Google said. First off, there is no company to be managed. Secondly, even if there was, he wouldn’t be the one managing it. He’s not the greatest of anything. He claims he’s the CEO of The Current yet no one here appointed him to be the CEO of anything not to even begin with him being the CEO of The Current. To be a CEO, you have to have passion and be open-minded. It would be very debatable to say Abijah is any of these things. 
• The voices 
  • If you ask me, this is a weird one. Abijah swears he hears voices that tell him certain things and to act in certain ways. If the public hears the things that The Current staff has heard Abijah say, the world will end, and global warming will get here faster than it already is.
• Eating and leaving the trash
  • This dude eats snacks like they’re full-course meals. Let’s not start with the questionable choice of snacks he has. He eats like 20 bags of chips in the span of 45 minutes and leaves his trash all over the table. It goes like this, one trash in front of him, another on the other side of the table, another on the ground, another on someone’s head like bro just throw it away or at least keep your trash organized. 
• Name-calling in the hallway
  • Abijah does this thing where he will yell out your name in the hallway. It’s almost as embarrassing to fall down a flight of stairs than to hear your name called out like that. Abijah said “Oh I don’t have a megaphone? Pshhh I don’t need that. *clasps hand and holds it up to mouth.*” End scene because that tells you enough already. 
• Leaves his class
  • Abijah claims he’s a CEO and he’s the Greatest Of All Time yet he can’t be punctual. He’s never in class on time and he’s a lollygagger.
• Walks around class with no shoes on 
  • It’s just a little odd like there are germs everywhere, yet here you are, the only one without shoes. To make matters worse, he puts those God-forsaken socks on our shoes like it’s a normal thing that normal people do. 
• Associate Editor but doesn’t edit?
  • It’s literally in the name, an editor should edit, right? Meet Abijah, the one who swears he can’t edit anything, but then proceeds to call himself the G.O.A.T and the CEO of newspaper. He only has this position because…
    • Mrs Confino just wanted to be kind
    • He forced us all to put him there
    • He told us that he would walk around the class with worse. NO SOCKS ??
    • ??️(looking for all the potential reasons).

This is just a sneak peek. It doesn’t even begin to cover everything. We’d need more to write more articles for us to cover everything.

Abijah’s Note: I won’t call this an editor’s note because I’m above that. As the CEO I need no one’s permission to edit. Therefore I’ll set one thing straight, I may be eccentric and a little loud but I’m no litter bug. I clean up all my trash and it has neverrrrr been on someone’s head! That’s all, carry on with your day, CEO signing out.