Don’t you ever jih like get guh because goons stay using slang? I fo’ sho’ did.

Here in the DC, Maryland, Virginia area (DMV), we have our own type of slang. The people who speak this way think they sound hip, but in reality, they sound like they butchered the English language and came up with something completely original.

I can guarantee that if you attend Watkins Mill you know exactly what I’m talking about moe. The trappers that cool it in the Village McDonald’s or the ones who just boolin’ in front of the bathrooms and stairs in our school make it their everyday vocabulary.

As an eighth grader coming from Damascus, where almost nobody used slang, I arrived here confused like a mug. It took me three years to find out that they were flaming me because of my DC shoes and Hollister sweaters. I still feel like there are shots being fired even after this long.

They use to call me champ because I had no shoe game; the entire time I thought they were calling me a champion because I got good grades. I was on the same level as the teachers there, which made me feel like a lame, so I had to fit in.

One day this kid asked me if I was talking to a girl that I was just having a conversation with… I said yes. I misunderstood him and thought he meant the literal meaning of talking, instead of having a small fling with. I guess someone told her and the next day she slapped the mess out of me because we were not “talking” like that. I was in pain and confused, people then joaned on me for getting slapped by a girl for a whole week. I was tired at this point, but it was now apparent to me that we were speaking two different languages.

I tried roasting that kid who got me slapped, however, it all went downhill. He went on my nappy hair, my champ clothes, and my fruity music. Everybody was geeking and all I could say was, “Chill, you got it.” But lowkey I was crying on the inside.

I learned it the hard way, but at least now I can associate with the trappers and not be flamed because I know my clothes are fire. Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is not to stoop down to their level because if you don’t have any experience with DMV slang you will get flamed hard.