Please just be grateful that we’ve moved on from the 1994 World Cup jerseys. Anything besides that is so much better for everyone involved. For realsies though, it’s so they don’t get confused with the other players that can’t use their hands.

Ummm, what’s there not to be obsessed about? Once every four years we get a whole month of soccer games. That’s reason enough, but the history and grandeur of the cup creates lifelong memories.

Way back when in ye old times, British people would shorten words because they were young and hip. Soccer, which was called Association Football, got shortened to Assoc. So every time a British person makes fun of you for saying soccer, remind them that it’s actually their fault.

My mom was born and raised in Buenos Aires, if I don’t say Argentina I WILL be disowned. Also Messi needs to finally get the one award he’s missing.

Again, it used to be worse. Or you can ask him on his website and maybe he’ll answer you.

This is a great question for first-time soccer watchers. Being in an offside position means that as an attacker, there’s only one defender (including the goalie) between the ball and the goal line. However, you don’t get punished for just being in an offside position, only when the attacker becomes involved in play does the referee blow the whistle for offside.

This is a great example of the red player being offiside.

In 2019 the US Soccer Federation (USSF) changed their referee grading system from a system of numbers to a system of words. (I know, exciting.) Now there are five levels, or grades, of referees that are part of the USSF system. Only the top level of referees can referee international tournaments, and even within that level it’s very difficult to be selected to referee at the World Cup.

As one of the most highly respected referees in the world, I’m the sole judge of the quality of referees and I personally handpick the referees for the World Cup.

To answer the final part of your question, it’s actually impossible to referee say, U-10 games while also being one of, if not the, best tennis players in the entire world. (I’ve also heard that he writes very funny and informative articles and is tall and handsome and–.)

Dear Reader, I have nothing against the Ghanian team. In fact, I was rooting for them to beat Uruguay. However, I have decided to place 100% of the blame on the loss to Mr. Lanham for coming into our third period class and spoiling the penalty kick against Uruguay. That was an unforgivable act and I hope he has reflected appropriately.

You know what? Sure, every four years go ahead and get a refill on me.

Well, one of the ways players can get a yellow card is by taking their shirts off during a celebration. (I guess because the referee is insanely jealous of their abs.) So because Vincent Aboubakar already had a yellow before he scored, he got a second yellow for taking his shirt off.