“Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Lucky for women, our clothes don’t come with pockets, thanks Arnie.

If you haven’t guessed already, I am going to go on a tangent about pant pockets.  WHY DON’T THEY COME ON MY CLOTHES?! I go shopping for jeans and end up leaving the store with nothing, you know why? Because there are no friggen pockets.

The functionality of women’s clothes has been disregarded for centuries, presumably as a way to keep women “powerless.” Little do they know, it has only gifted us more power. For example, due to the lack of pockets, I have mastered the ability to carry my wallet, keys, charger, phone, chapstick, and water bottle in one hand. I could even carry mascara and lip gloss if I am running late.

I have gone through all five stages of grief over pants pockets while shopping. Here are some examples of “pockets” that have caused me grief:

1. The classic no-pockets model – These provide a sleek slim look without the convenience of those terribly useful pockets.
2. The “I tried but we ran out of fabric” model – This one really just makes your day.  The pockets are there, or so you thought until you went to put your chapstick in only to find that it was just a sewn-on shape. (Editor’s note: These are the worst kind of deception.)
3. The coin purse model – Pockets that only fit some coins, therefore, becoming a coin purse.

There are children that have more functional pockets than me. For what reason does a two-year-old need fully functional quality pockets on their pants? There is no reason that a toddler needs pockets, what are they gonna put in there? Some Gerber Puffs? It is absolutely outrageous if they can spare the extra six inches of fabric to make baby clothes with pockets, but I, a grown woman, who has things to hold, cannot get pockets.

Yes, purses have been created in all sorts of sizes ranging from micro purses that fit a piece of dust to large purses that are like Mary Poppins’ suitcase. But women don’t always want to have to carry their purses, especially if they are going out. There’s less of a chance for me to get robbed without my purse, and IF I HAD POCKETS, I would certainly notice a stranger digging in my front pocket to rob me.

Say I was getting kidnapped, if I had my purse that contained pepper spray, it would take forever to find. (We all know what it’s like digging in your purse for that one item and saying “I swear I put it in here.”) I would be kidnapped and probably dead on the side of the road before I found my pepper spray.

BUT IF I HAD POCKETS, I would be able to just reach in and grab it, and bam. I have just avoided being kidnapped and murdered.

For just $0.03 a day you can help support the change for pockets movement, all proceeds will go to my bank account. Thank you and remember to vote Pockets for Women’s Pants 2023!