To trip down the stairs, you have to be extremely clumsy, unlucky, or something. We’ve all been there–I mean, *I* haven’t–but I guess I understand it.

I may have not experienced tripping in public (or in any form), but I understand your pain and I am willing to help.

First, please give up the cockroach stompers. I do not understand how you wake up and choose violence FOR YOURSELF. The 20-inch boots are beautiful–don’t get me wrong–but to be able to boast in them, you actually need to know how to wear them.

There comes a moment when you realize you are about to trip, and I mean that slow-motion part where the world looks like it is revolving around you. That step, that step that determines it all. Then the fall. When you fall, you should get up, bow like you gave the best performance, and then Hakuna Matata your way out of there immediately.

I doubt people will be able to tell the difference between the amazing performance you just gave and actual tripping. I mean, what would you expect? People find many things amusing.

Grabbing the nearest person to go down with you is one way to go. It’s either you fall alone or they fall with you, you both take one for the team. Taking a further step, you could pull an item of their clothing with you as you fall. The focus would be on their fallen pants rather than on you.

You could move to one side of the stairs gripping onto the wall as much as you can (as if it can save you). If someone asks if you need a hand, walk back up the stairs, not looking back, and ignoring your original route.

I wouldn’t advise touching the railings because, eww. Do I have to say more? Who knows what those railings have been through. It has probably seen all the world wars, maybe even helped fight during them.

Well, that’s it. I’m sure it is difficult, but I hope my list helps you be better prepared if you were to ever trip on the stairs.