I have really bad eyesight. My power is -5 on both eyes, and I recently got contacts. It was so nice to be able to see without bulky frames on my face…until I had to see y’all’s faces. No offense, but like full offense. I should not be able to see the result of the failure of the American HealthCare system when you smile. In fact, I should not be able to see you smile at all! Hide it! 

And don’t get me wrong, I’m not asking you to have your mask up for every second of the day. I understand that eating, drinking, and wiping noses are essential parts to survival as a student. But most of this doesn’t take more than 30 seconds to do. So why am I seeing your faces more than I have to? 

Don’t even get me started on eating… You know you can remain in one place and eat, right? Even if you are sooooo busy that you can’t sit down for more than five minutes, you can chew with your mask on! If you’re going to walk around eating, save yourself from embarrassment and hide your face.

Some of you have your masks down for other reasons…reasons we don’t want to smell. It’s bad…trust me. If your breath penetrates my two layers of mask, you’re the problem. If you, yourself don’t want to smell your own breath, what makes you think we want to? Pack it up with a mint and tuck in your nose and chin for bed. 

I promise that no one cares to look at you. In fact, I’d go far as to say that they would rather not remember what you look like. So let’s keep it that way, yeah?

If no one told you how to put on a mask properly, click here to learn. And for our visual learners, here’s a video. 

Now that we’ve gone over this, I should not have to see your faces ever again. Save my poor, poor eyes from their misery and put your masks on properly. Properly means that the nose and chin are covered. I repeat: properly means that the nose and chin are covered!

Editor’s Note: Even if you’re actually attractive, like we are, wear your mask properly.