Montgomery County Public Schools will consider whether inclement weather, like the snow, will prompt students to shift to virtual classes for the day, or just have another off day.

What?

I really doubt MCPS has considered student opinion on this subject, but here’s what I think. Again, what? There’s an awful amount of virtual school talk for a public school system that was willing to risk the health of staff and students in order to have in-person classes.

You know, maybe it won’t hurt to try it at least. When has MCPS ever made a horrible decision, am I right? There could be a plethora of things we could do on an instructional snow day.

For instance, we could watch our teachers scramble to plan out a lesson for students. It’s not like they didn’t expect MCPS to make a last-minute decision to close schools, and force teachers to still “teach” from their homes. Teachers can totally, 100% plan for this stuff all the time, for sure, totally.

I know a couple of teachers who like to make up fun activities for students that would totally benefit everyone, and totally teach them valuable lessons contributing to the curriculum. We could have a snow man making competition; that teaches kids about the arts and sciences. We could even just totally just watch those funny kid cartoons that try to teach a life lesson but do so in the most annoying fashion, looking at you Peppa Pig.

Maybe there is a very slight chance that teachers actually do have a lesson prepared for students on these surprise ‘teach virtually’ days. I mean, MCPS totally has the right to make this decision cause they know how every teacher plans their lessons and totally cares for their staff and students.

If teachers can teach virtually these days, why don’t we just have them always teach virtually? If schools really desperately needed to be in-person (even with the threat of staff and students getting sick ever-looming), we should totally just force kids to actually go to school on days of inclement weather at this point. I’m sure everyone would love that.

Or as I’ve said before, we could always just make schools completely virtual. If MCPS wants to go as far as to make inclement weather days virtual, why not just make all days virtual? Cause bad weather is worse than a literal pandemic right?

Editor’s Note: This article is not satirical. Josh is completely serious this time. We think. Actually, we don’t even know anymore. And he’s not in class to ask. Is he virtual? Did he ever exist? Who knows?