Valentine’s Day has been celebrated for 1522 years, and yet it is one of the most useless holidays ever created (right after Columbus Day).

You spend your money on gifts for other people, don’t receive any in return, and after fighting through all of the tears from your rejection, you still can’t get at least a day off from school.

And be prepared for those angry, heartbroken, and angsty phone calls from the mother you couldn’t get a gift for because you spent everything on the girl who left you for a hot, dark-haired Marine who isn’t even in the darn country (Jessica, come back please!).

Who would want to celebrate a holiday that’s based off of assaulting women?  After all,  it is based off of a Roman festival that had men run around, grabbing and spanking YOUNG women in hopes of upping their fertility. But of course, if you want to (for whatever sick reason) look at the festival positively, it was also claimed to be a rebellion for love. Apparently some old, angry, bitter, emperor (who is definitely not me), did not want Roman soldiers getting married during wartime, but they said forget that and did it in secret.

The whole freaking idea of the holiday is to get some love, candy, and have some fun. Instead, we’re stuck with all this pressure to please everyone who is demanding all this crap. We expect to get chocolate flowers and all this unconditional love. People have made it some serious mission that makes or breaks relationships. And I’m talking ALL relationships, don’t think you can go and forget that treat for your dog–they’ll never recover.

Every year, you hear tragic tales of a young man who got dark chocolate instead of milk and the girl broke his heart the next day. This holiday is supposed to be fun, but because of the hype, we are plagued with dread and anxiety to do better. Think about it, why are teens who can’t even pay for a textbook wasting all their money on a gift for a partner that won’t even last another month? It makes no sense. You all have craters on your face because of school stress, and now you gotta deal with this crap too.

It does have some perks. When you were little, everyone got candy and cards and you felt special, even though you knew secretly no one cared about you. And the discounts on clothes, food, and whatever your heart desires. And we can’t forget what a lovely evening you will be having, if you get what I mean. BUT DON’T BE FOOLED! That’s only if you don’t mess up everything else.

In conclusion, the idea is great. But celebrating this holiday like we are is ruining lives, happiness, and love. We must not look over these terrible aspects and remember to keep everyone included like we used to. (I’m so lonely.)