Forget Joanne, Janice teaches the art of scamming

Janice Asabere, Sports Editor

If you are reading this, you are probably very desperate for something. That is where I come in, sis. We are going to break down the most important skill a person can have, the art of the scam.

Think of a desperate time in your life, remember how low you felt. You never want to feel that way again, right? That is when you start getting that scamming mentality sis, so keep reading.

First, you are going to need a set of skills. The perfect skills to have include lying, cheating, using others, the list can go on and on.

Second, you will need to train your mind to be stronger than your heart. In the process of scamming, people might get hurt. Do not let your sympathy for them get in the way of what you want. Yeah, they might be emotionally damaged…but at least you’re straight.

For example, I do not have the best relationship with my father. I only get in contact when I need money or food. He is beginning to notice the pattern but I really do not feel any remorse, not even a little bit. Since he ruined my childhood, I will proceed to ruin his bank account. I know what you are thinking, How could you use someone so close to you? I will feel guilty later, when I am in a Range Rover.

Third, you will need to set a goal. You can not scam just to scam. You could have a little goal like getting $20 from your mom by the end of the week or a big goal like wiping out your dad’s credit card.

Fourth, you will need a good poker face. How you attack your prey will determine the outcome of the task. Facial expressions play a big role.

For example, in my ninth grade year I went to my friend’s house after my AP exam, instead of going straight home like my mom asked me to. My excuse was going to be that I had make-up work that I had to do.

On that same day, there was a shooter on the loose near Wheaton. Since Wheaton is close, my mom’s anxiety was through the roof. I came home and completely forgot what type of person my mom was and I told her the honest truth about where I was.  I just couldn’t take her seriously because she was so mad, I started laughing.

Worst mistake.

She slapped me back to the olden times and dragged me to the floor by my shirt. So, do not be like ninth grade me with no self-control over your facial expressions because you might get slapped.

Finally, be confident and commit 110 percent to what you do. Remember, this is not a hobby, this is a lifestyle.

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